Here I briefly review some cool vegan waffle recipes and concepts that have appeared elsewhere in recent months. I’m sure there are many more than this; feel free to add in the comments.

First, thanks to VegNews for recently spreading the love of vegan waffles to other occasions. Their most recent newsletter featured some yummy-looking Mexican Hot Chocolate Waffles for Cinco de Mayo. They appear to provide a different texture and experience than the Hot Chocolate Molasses Waffles and South of the Border Dark Chocolate Syrup,* because they creatively incorporate the cocoa via the syrup blended right into the waffles, and also utilize egg replacer powder. Thanks to Pittsburgh Vegan Meetup Member Rachel Z. for the heads up!

VegNews’ November-December 2011 (print edition) “Wild Waffles” brought our beloved food to the winter holidays. Its waffle and topping recipes featured dill and beets respectively, both flavors I love. And the poetic description of a vegan waffle-topping event is plenty to get one amped up:

“Without the syrup, waffles’ complex, subtly sweet flavor begs for savory experimentation, limited only by your global culinary imagination. During the holiday, brunch offers a superb opportunity for a casual yet lavish affair, with guests mingling in the kitchen as one freshly made waffle after another gets served up.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself! And of course, the recipes would work just as well for a May or June waffle party.

SheKnows Miso Vegan’s Five-Spice Vegan Waffles recipe, also incorporating grated lemon zest, presents an interesting flavor for a waffle. And I imagine the kitchen smells quite nice while baking them. Given the amount of waffle I like to have at one sitting, I might question the “serves 8.” And I’d probably dump even more spice into it, as I like a good kick in the tastebuds.

Perhaps the most interestingly named vegan waffles posted recently are “Padgett Waffles with a Fullerton Twist.” Quite a noble-sounding waffle! I’d love to see all the suggested vegan modifications incorporated into an actual recipe, especially as posting the readable page photo of a cookbook, unless it’s in the public domain, may ruffle some feathers. I appreciate the author’s recognition that one can still publicly explore and support vegan and vegetarian cooking without proclaiming a fully vegan lifestyle—it’s indeed a continuum, not a dichotomy.

The First Mess’s Banana Coconut Waffles (or pancakes) recipe stood out for a few reasons. First, I like that it emphasizes oiling the grids between each waffle—I’ve seen a few people get turned off by vegan waffles right off the bat because they often do require more frequent oiling than non-vegan waffles. That, of course, doesn’t make the vegan waffles inferior; it’s just a simple fact. The other interesting point is the use of either ground chia or flax seeds. I’ve talked to a few runners over the years who swear by chia pancakes as a great energy source (per the discussion of chia in Born to Run), but haven’t yet tried it as a waffle binder.

The above led me to an earlier (May 2010) Pre-Race Pinole and Chia Waffles recipe on No Meat Athlete—which also has a cool Vegetarian Guide to Conquering Your First 26.2 Miles. Do you know how many additional waffles you can gobble down while training for a marathon? Yum!

Also in March, Vegansaurus featured a guest post for “the greatest vegan waffle recipe in the world!” The title made me chuckle, and I really loved some of the instructions, like, “When mixing all the ingredients, be gentle, as if you were stroking a tiny kitten’s head.” The only change I might make is that I tend to prefer a slightly lumpy batter over a smooth and consistent one. The author’s waffle maker review site, mentioned at the bottom of the post, could be a very helpful resource once it’s developed. This would include comments based on real-life experience with vegan waffles. Although the GVWC also includes a short guide to waffle makers, I’m unable to answer questions about specific models that I sometimes receive, outside of the Waring Pro WMK300 and a few others.

While it goes back a few years, Go Dairy Free posted a brief but useful list of Global Vegan Waffle Party Approved Recipes.

If you’re planning vegan pancakes rather than waffles, particularly fitting for this year’s theme are some of the delicious-looking recipes in Chocolate-Covered Katie’s “Pancake Pandemonium.” And she has plenty of recipes that would work as vegan chocolate waffle toppings as well. Some, but certainly not all, pancake recipes will work as waffles either as-is or with adjustments including a bit of extra oil; I’m unable to comment on any specific recipe I haven’t actually tried.

Hopefully this gives you some additional resources for your vegan waffle event!

*From The Global Vegan Waffle Cookbook and Vegan Chocolate Seduction

Makes the equivalent of 4 (7-inch) round Belgian waffles.

While all the Liege waffles are somewhat decadent, something about almonds makes them even more so. Like coconut, almonds take on an enhanced flavor when slightly toasted. Two versions of this recipe appear below: the egg replacer version, followed by the ground flaxseed version.

Egg replacer version

Important: read the tips on vegan Liege waffles first.

• 2 1/4 teaspoons (one 1/4-ounce package) active dry yeast
• 1/3 cup warm water
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup vegan margarine, non-hydrogenated
• 3 egg replacer eggs
• 1/2 cup almond butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 cup almonds, finely chopped
• 3/4 cup to 1 cup Swedish or Belgian pearled sugar, or coarsely crushed sugar cubes (see note)

Begin at least 3 hours in advance of baking the waffles, or 1 1/2 hours in advance if using quick-rise yeast. In a large bowl, mix the yeast, warm water, and sugar, and allow to sit for at least 5 minutes. Add the all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, and salt, and knead for 2 to 3 minutes until most of the flour is incorporated into a somewhat crumbly ball. In a small bowl or cup, soften the margarine in the microwave. In another small bowl, prepare the egg replacer per the manufacturer’s directions. Add the margarine, egg replacer, and almond butter to the dough, and mix well.

Cover the bowl and place it in a warm location until the flour mixture has almost doubled. You can use your oven to create a warm spot for the flour mixture to rise. Make sure the oven rack is low enough for the bowl to fit in the oven. Turn the oven on for 1 to 2 minutes at 200 degrees F. (It shouldn’t actually reach 200 degrees, but just warm up slightly.) Turn off the oven, place the covered bowl on the rack, and close the oven door to keep in the warmth. If you wish to let the batter stand overnight, strengthening the yeast flavor, covering the bowl and leaving it at room temperature will work fine.

Mix in the vanilla extract and cinnamon. Then fold in the pearled sugar and chopped almonds until they’re evenly distributed, and allow to sit for 15 minutes. Bake roughly half a waffle’s worth of batter at a time, generously spraying the iron with oil prior to each waffle—even if the iron already looks very oily from the waffles, much of it is also melted sugar.

These waffles harden slightly as they cool. Depending upon your iron, they may take up to a minute less than the manufacturer’s suggested average cooking time. Serve immediately, or allow to cool and store in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.

Note: While the results will be slightly different, you can substitute 3/4 cup to 1 cup of demerara or turbinado sugar.

Ground Flaxseed Version

Important: read the tips on vegan Liege waffles first.

• 2 1/4 teaspoons (one 1/4-ounce package) active dry yeast
• 1/3 cup plus 1/4 cup warm water, divided
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 cup vegan margarine, non-hydrogenated
• 1/2 cup almond butter
• 3 tablespoons ground flaxseed
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 cup almonds, finely chopped
• 3/4 cup to 1 cup Swedish or Belgian pearled sugar, or coarsely crushed sugar cubes (see note)

Begin at least 3 hours in advance of baking the waffles, or 1 1/2 hours in advance if using quick-rise yeast. In a large bowl, mix the yeast, 1/3 cup of the warm water, and sugar, and allow to sit for at least 5 minutes. Add the all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, and salt, and knead for 2 to 3 minutes until most of the flour is incorporated into a crumbly ball, and the remainder is clumped together in small pieces. In a small bowl or cup, soften the margarine in the microwave. In another small bowl or cup, whisk the ground flaxseed with the remaining 1/4 cup of warm water.

Add the margarine, flaxseed-water mix, and almond butter to the dough, and mix well. Cover the bowl and place it in a warm location until the flour mixture has almost doubled. You can use your oven to create a warm spot for the flour mixture to rise. Make sure the oven rack is low enough for the bowl to fit in the oven. Turn the oven on for 1 to 2 minutes at 200 degrees F. (It shouldn’t actually reach 200 degrees, but just warm up slightly.) Turn off the oven, place the covered bowl on the rack, and close the oven door to keep in the warmth. If you wish to let the batter stand overnight, strengthening the yeast flavor, covering the bowl and leaving it at room temperature will work fine.

Stir in the vanilla and cinnamon. Mixing with the handle end of a spoon or other thin item like chopsticks can make it easier to break up the long strands of batter into smaller clumps. The batter does not need to be completely smooth, but you don’t want too many clumps larger than the last segment of your pinky finger.

Then fold in the pearled sugar and chopped almonds until they’re evenly distributed, and allow to sit for 15 minutes. Bake roughly half a waffle’s worth of batter at a time, generously spraying the iron with oil prior to each waffle—even if the iron already looks very oily from the waffles, much of it is also melted sugar.

These waffles harden slightly as they cool. Depending upon your iron, they may take up to a minute less than the manufacturer’s suggested average cooking time. Serve immediately, or allow to cool and store in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.

Note: While the results will be slightly different, you can substitute 3/4 cup to 1 cup of demerara or turbinado sugar.

Hey, kid, I'm gonna steal your vegan waffle!

We would not be enjoying delicious vegan waffles today if it weren’t for the waffle iron, so those of us in the U.S. extend our annual thanks to Cornelius Swartwout for filing the first U.S. waffle iron patent. He’d likely be impressed with how far things have come since 1869.

This day is also a perfect opportunity to share highlights from two additional vegan waffle parties.

Brian and Lise in Seattle, Washington hosted an August vegan waffle party including a beautifully decorated waffle. Isn’t it a great photo?

Yeah, he may be an adorable kid, but I still might consider snagging part of his waffle–I mean, is he really going to eat the entire thing? He’ll probably just eat the blueberries and frosting, and be left with a hairless, eyeless, non-smiley face. And that’s certainly no image you want a kid to grow up with. Civic duty calls me.

On a more serious but equally fun note, following is a brief description of their waffle party:

“I found the website while looking for a recipe as one guest is vegan.  I read about the waffle parties and decided to go for it…all vegan. We had fun.

I made the sweet yeast-raised waffle (did the overnight version) and the peanut butter fluff which I placed in an icing piping bag…decorate your own.  It was a sweet success!

The photo is of our nephew before he took a first bite.  The tongue says it all.”

First, it’s cool for multiple reasons that you decided to go ahead and make them all vegan. Secondly, I say to your nephew, quit chewing on your tongue and start chewing on that waffle before it’s mine, mine, mine!

Alongside this, I also got a late report on what has probably been the most media-covered vegan waffle event over the last few years–the Sweat Records party in Miami. The scoop from Lolo Reskin, Sweat’s entrepreneurial owner, who makes bright red hair look ultra-cool:

“Waffle Parties as a monthly event have been truly great for our shop.  We’ve expanded the amount of toppings and treats we offer and are enjoying huge turnouts at each one. People tell us all month long they look forward to it!  One of the greatest aspects of Waffle Party to us is that vegans and people looking to enjoy more veg foods can meet, network and make new friends.

Some press:
http://itsveganlicious.com/2011/06/27/sweat-records-vegan-waffle-party/
http://www.miaminewtimes.com/events/waffle-party-2838653/
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/citylink/events/sfl-best-bets-for-june-2228-2011-20110621,0,3310902.story
http://www.miamiherald.com/2011/04/26/2186467/monthly-waffle-parties-draw-vegan.html

Here’s the link for the local New Times’ photo gallery of the last one: http://www.miaminewtimes.com/slideshow/waffle-party-at-sweat-records-33634245/

We’ve also had some sponsors come on board – last month we gave out Magner’s Pear Cider (the Apple isn’t vegan ) and before that So Delicious gave out scoops of coconut milk ice cream.”

As I’ve mentioned in the past, I love the diversity of types of waffle parties, ranging from small home events to some larger business and organizational events. Just these two events alone illustrate that. Congrats on the fun events, and thanks for sharing some highlights!

Makes the equivalent of 4 (7-inch) round Belgian waffles.

These are amazing on their own or with chocolate or carob chips melted on top. The egg replacer version is listed first, and the ground flaxseed version is further below.

Egg replacer version

Important: read the tips on vegan Liege waffles first.

• 2 1/4 teaspoons (one 1/4-ounce package) active dry yeast
• 1/3 cup warm water (does not include water required for egg replacer)
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons vegan margarine, non-hydrogenated
• 1/2 cup coconut milk (not the “light” variety)
• 3 egg replacer eggs
• 1/2 cup coconut, finely shredded unsweetened (macaroon style)
• 1 teaspoon coconut extract
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 3/4 cup to 1 cup Swedish or Belgian pearled sugar, or coarsely crushed sugar cubes (see note)

Begin at least 3 hours in advance of baking the waffles, or 1 1/2 hours in advance if using quick-rise yeast. In a large bowl, mix the yeast, warm water, and sugar, and allow to sit for at least 5 minutes. Add the all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, and salt, and knead for 2 to 3 minutes until most of the flour is incorporated into a somewhat crumbly ball. In a small bowl or cup, soften the margarine in the microwave. In another small bowl, prepare the egg replacer per the manufacturer’s directions. Add the margarine, egg replacer, and shredded coconut to the dough in the large bowl, and mix well with your hands.

Cover the bowl and place it in a warm location until the flour mixture has almost doubled. You can use your oven to create a warm spot for the flour mixture to rise. Make sure the oven rack is low enough for the bowl to fit in the oven. Turn the oven on for 1 to 2 minutes at 200 degrees F. (It shouldn’t actually reach 200 degrees, but just warm up slightly.) Turn off the oven, place the covered bowl on the rack, and close the oven door to keep in the warmth. If you wish to let the batter stand overnight, strengthening the yeast flavor, covering the bowl and leaving it at room temperature will work fine.

Mix the coconut extract and vanilla extract into the dough thoroughly. Then fold in the pearled sugar until it’s evenly distributed, and allow to sit for 15 minutes. Bake roughly half a waffle’s worth of batter at a time, generously spraying the iron with oil prior to each waffle—even if the iron already looks very oily from the waffles, much of it is also melted sugar.

These waffles harden slightly as they cool. Depending upon your iron, they may take up to a minute less than the manufacturer’s suggested average cooking time. Serve immediately, or allow to cool and store in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.

Note: While the results will be slightly different, you can substitute 3/4 cup to 1 cup of demerara or turbinado sugar.

Ground Flaxseed Version

Important: read the tips on vegan Liege waffles first.

• 2 1/4 teaspoons (one 1/4-ounce package) active dry yeast
• 1/3 cup plus 1/4 cup warm water, divided
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons vegan margarine, non-hydrogenated
• 1/2 cup coconut milk (not the “light” variety)
• 3 tablespoons ground flaxseed
• 1/2 cup coconut, finely shredded unsweetened (macaroon style)
• 1 teaspoon coconut extract
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 3/4 cup to 1 cup Swedish or Belgian pearled sugar, or coarsely crushed sugar cubes (see note)

Begin at least 3 hours in advance of baking the waffles, or 1 1/2 hours in advance if using quick-rise yeast. In a large bowl, mix the yeast, 1/3 cup of the warm water, and sugar, and allow to sit for at least 5 minutes. Add the all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, and salt, and knead for 2 to 3 minutes until most of the flour is incorporated into a somewhat crumbly ball. In a small bowl or cup, soften the margarine in the microwave. In another small bowl or cup, whisk the ground flaxseed with the remaining 1/4 cup of warm water.

Add the margarine, flaxseed-water mix, and shredded coconut to the dough, and mix well.

Cover the bowl and place it in a warm location until the flour mixture has almost doubled. You can use your oven to create a warm spot for the flour mixture to rise. Make sure the oven rack is low enough for the bowl to fit in the oven. Turn the oven on for 1 to 2 minutes at 200 degrees F. (It shouldn’t actually reach 200 degrees, but just warm up slightly.) Turn off the oven, place the covered bowl on the rack, and close the oven door to keep in the warmth. If you wish to let the batter stand overnight, strengthening the yeast flavor, covering the bowl and leaving it at room temperature will work fine.

Mix the coconut extract, vanilla extract, and baking powder into the dough thoroughly, breaking up any clumps of baking powder. Then fold in the pearled sugar until it’s evenly distributed, and allow to sit for 15 minutes. Bake roughly half a waffle’s worth of batter at a time, generously spraying the iron with oil prior to each waffle—even if the iron already looks very oily from the waffles, much of it is also melted sugar.

These waffles harden slightly as they cool. Depending upon your iron, they may take up to a minute less than the manufacturer’s suggested average cooking time. Serve immediately, or allow to cool and store in a sealed container in the refrigerator for up to 3 days.

Note: While the results will be slightly different, you can substitute 3/4 cup to 1 cup of demerara or turbinado sugar.

A few visitors have asked for a basic, easy neutral vegan waffle recipe to accompany the more adventurous ones. While the creative part of my mind rebelled at first, I decided that several good “neutral” recipes are vital for waffle parties with a range of toppings. So without further fanfare, here is your very basic-but still delicious-vegan waffle.

• 1 1/2 cups whole wheat flour
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 1/4 cups soymilk
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar

Sift or whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Mix the soymilk, canola oil, and brown sugar in a medium bowl. Pour the soymilk mixture into the flour mixture and stir just until blended. Cook on a waffle iron for 3 to 5 minutes, generously spraying both grills with oil before each waffle. Makes 4 (7-inch) round Belgian waffles.

Today presents a wonderful opportunity to use vegan waffle recipes. Yes, this is the day when many churches and households host their pre-Lent pancake feasts. Unfortunately, most of them aren’t vegan.  According to at least one historical account of Shrove Tuesday pancake feasts, this tradition began as a way of using up the perishable milk, butter and eggs that were forbidden during Lent.

From a vegan or total vegetarian perspective, having pancakes on Shrove or Fat Tuesday may seem paradoxical because, well, we have no milk, butter or eggs that will go bad. Of course, since the tradition already exists, it presents a good opportunity to improve the lives of our fellow creatures while many others are merely “shriving” or repenting for sins.

Most vegan waffle recipes can be converted to pancakes quite easily. Pancakes usually need less oil, so that can be reduced to 1 or 2 tablespoons. If the first pancake comes out too thick when using your favorite waffle batter, just add a little more soymilk or water to the mix. Outside of that, you should be pretty much set to go. (Because the waffle iron is less forgiving than the skillet, converting a pancake recipe to a waffle recipe is a bit trickier.)

If you’re feeling lucky or spend so much time in the kitchen that you can judge measurements with your eyes, you can follow Moby’s vegan pancakes method.

My personal favorite for cooking vegan pancakes is a well-seasoned iron skillet on a gas range; and I usually use vegan margarine rather than canola oil because I like the extra bit of saltiness.

When your pancakes are vegan, you can tell people you celebrate “Fat but Cholesterol Free Tuesday,” and grin as they roll their eyeballs. (If you’re vegan or vegetarian, it will make up for all those Fridays this time of year when you’re asked, “So fish is also considered meat?”)

This waffle recipe (revised 4/27/09) is especially great for the fall or early winter, and for desserts near holidays including Halloween and Thanksgiving. My wife grew up near a farm that makes delicious apple cider donuts, and laments that no vegan version of them is available locally. These waffles, however, revived some of her childhood memories. Perhaps they’ll do the same for you.

Ingredients

• 1/3 C raw pecans, finely chopped
• 1 C whole wheat flour
• 1 C all-purpose wheat flour
• 2 t baking powder
• 1 t baking soda
• 1 t salt
• 1/2 t cinnamon
• 1/2 t xanthan gum powder
• 1/4 t nutmeg
• 1/2 C + 2 T soymilk
• 1 1/2 C apple cider
• 3/4 C sugar
• 1/2 C canola oil
• 1 t vanilla

Directions

Chop the pecans and set them aside. In a large bowl, whisk or sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, xanthan gum, and nutmeg. In a small bowl, mix the soymilk, apple cider,  sugar, canola oil, and vanilla. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and mix just until the dry ingredients are saturated. Fold in the chopped pecans. Spray the waffle iron generously with oil, and cook for about a minute longer than normal cooking time. Drizzle with hot maple syrup or sprinkle with additional cinnamon and sugar.

From time to time I try an existing recipe and decide that it still doesn’t quite match the ideal in my mind. Thus, it’s back to the waffling board. I’m happier with the updated version of the Sinful Cheesecakey Vegan Waffles, and would love to hear your thoughts. It’s a little tangier, fluffier and toastier on the outside.

In vegan waffle recipes, using soymilk, nut-based milk or water in lieu of milk is no big deal, and replacing the egg is often simply a matter of making sure there’s adequate binding (holding together) and leavening (fluffiness). Baking powder and baking soda (and sometimes egg replacer powder, which has many of the same characteristics) generally do the trick for leavening, and flours with a high-gluten content such as wheat often have plenty of binding on their own. You do still need to generously oil your iron, though; and it still helps to include some oil in the batter.

However, when we get into gluten-free waffle making, and start substituting flours like rice flours/tapioca flour mixtures or pre-mixed gluten free blends, there may not be enough binding. This is where xanthan gum can be a life saver. A chain of sugars produced by bacteria found on certain plants, it has thickening and binding properties, and is sold as a powder. While an 8 oz. bag runs over $10, it lasts for a very long time because it is used in very small quantities.

For a mix making roughly 4 waffles, I find that 1 teaspoon or less of xanthan gum generally does the trick, unless the waffle also includes a lot of non-flour add-ins that impede binding. Do be aware that greater quantities of xanthan gum will also make your waffles a little crustier and denser, and not quite as light and fluffy, so it may take a little experimenting to find your perfect balance.

Yes, at this point it seems like I could come up with a reason for a waffle party any time of day, any day of the year. Well, you’re probably right! However, those of us in the U.S. celebrate Independence Day today, and one element of it has a particular irony: hamburgers and hot dogs. Many Americans could not imagine a July 4th without these items on their grill. Yes, many of us celebrate our own Independence Day by consuming products linked directly to the unnecessary enslavement and suffering of other living creatures. This is already obvious to many of you, but I’ll admit that the thought never would have crossed my mind four or five years ago.

In some cases, our ceremonies take on an even more sinister tone, e.g., in the case of “animal roasts” where an entire animal will we brought out before a celebrating crowd. Is the violence-driven bonding and silent proclamation of power over another formerly living being really so different than that of say, a mob of racist people watching in delight as another human being of a different color hangs to their death, or a group of homophobic men tying another person to a fence and beating them due to their sexual orientation? Or is it simply that the recipient of violence is different? These are certainly not comfortable things for any of us to think about, let alone admit to ourselves. It may not be a coincidence that many of these celebrations also involve heavy drinking; perhaps it helps us to detach ourselves from the face that is suddenly clearer to us.  And such detachment and denial leaves us at risk of the same violence through which people may turn on one another. If such concepts are entirely new to you, resources such as this clip from the documentary “Earthlings” may help to make such connections.

Fourth of July picnics are a huge economic driver, and it is one of the busiest days of the year for many food retailers. Unfortunately, many of the products picnickers and grillers purchase are far from vegan or vegetarian.

If the weather’s nice, you’ll probably want to be outside grilling some kabobs with tofu, onion and other veggies, or perhaps some seasoned portabellas or homemade bean burgers. However, should rain be expected where you live (it is here in the ‘Burgh!), break out the waffle iron, pull out a few good vegan waffle recipes, and invite a few friends over. You can even throw one the morning after the big barbecue. Just keep the firecrackers away from the hot waffle iron…